"For life and death are one,
just as the sea and river one."
WHAT DOES AN EOLD DO?
Like birth, death is an emotionally-taxing process for all those involved. It requires thoughtful medical, financial and legal planning; education about the physical, emotional and spiritual processes that happen during this time; access to community resources; and companionship and presence during the process. Death or end-of-life (EOL) doulas can provide all these things and more.
Hospice vs. Doula
It may appear that EOL doulas provide the same services as hospice or palliative care, but clients of death doulas and their loved ones gain significant benefits that differ in many ways.
One is time. The hospice team, including volunteers, hindered by caseload and requirements, can provide only a few hours a week of face-to-face time for patient care.
On the other hand, EOL doulas can work alongside the hospice team as its eyes and ears, teaching caregivers how to care for their loved ones more consistently, educating about the natural dying process as often as necessary, and being available to offer holistic care anytime and anywhere. Most importantly, death doulas can provide the respite needed for caregivers overwhelmed emotionally, mentally and physically by the round-the-clock care needed once a patient begins to transition.
In addition, EOL doulas help patients receive the holistic benefits of a hospice-style approach to care well before they are admitted to hospice service. A continuing problem for hospice care in the U.S. is that patients wait too long and live, on average, only 14 to 20 days on services.
Services such as caregiver respite, obtaining community resources, assisting with transportation or other activities of daily living can be provided by EOL doulas at any time in the disease process; keeping patients at home, healthier and happier for longer, another important benefit for patients and families using death doulas at this early stage.
Another key difference between hospice providers and EOL doulas is that doulas can help family and loved ones immediately after death. This time is often chaotic and scary for families, but death doulas help families gain some control during this time by helping plan and carry out rituals, home wakes, funerals and other personal ways to have quality sacred time with loved ones. These after death plans help facilitate healing and healthy grieving by being present and listening to offer support long after a client’s death.
By providing professional planning, elder care, end-of-life care and meaningful after death care, dedicated EOL doulas provide valuable resources throughout people’s life spans and in their communities, ultimately improving not just how people die, but also how people and communities live.
How Doulas Assist
Many end-of-life doulas, also known as death midwives, say they complement the care from hospitals, senior-care facilities and hospices, as well as fill in the gaps that occur during the dying process. End-of-life doulas can provide several services to your loved ones and their family:
WHY HAVE AN EOLD?
I. SUMMING UP & PLANNING
This phase focuses on helping the person who is dying reflect on the meaning of their life. Who were they? What did they accomplish? What is their lasting impact? This also is a time to plan how the person wants their last days to unfold.
II. CONDUCTING VIGIL
This phase begins when the person’s body begins to break down in their last few days of life. The doula eases them through the process of dying and makes their last moments as comfortable as possible. They take some of the burdens of the family by providing company and doing some physical care.
III. REPROCESSING & EARLY GRIEF
After the person passes, the doula is present to help the family process and understand what happened. This includes talking about things that were or were not discussed before the family’s loved one passed. This typically occurs three to six weeks after the death.
During the doula’s time with the dying person, they help the person decide what their last wishes are. For example, Henry told us one woman wanted her loved ones to write memories of her on a scroll. Some of her other wishes included spraying lavender oil on her bedding, playing special music, and toasting to her with the wine she picked out upon her passing.
Oftentimes, doulas work with funeral directors to make sure the person who is dying is receiving the end-of-life care they wanted. Doulas are the liaison between the last few days of life and the care funeral directors provide. There are green ceremonial options available if the client chooses. I can provide ideas and possible options if the client wants to choose an environmentally friendly ceremony, rather than the standard funeral option. They do not want to get in the way of funeral services, but rather make them more personalized for the person who passed and their family.
HOW WE HELP.
Many need validation or information about what the dying will be like. They attempt to share this information by using symbolic language to indicate preparation for a journey or change soon to happen. As a steward of conscious deaths there is an increase in beauty, pleasure, contentment and emotional and spiritual support.
Together we can explore your questions and concerns lovingly leaning into whatever shows up for you along the way-- empowering you with techniques for supporting, ideas for engaging, and tools for connecting. All designed to support your sacred experience.
Respite care allows primary caregivers a break from their caregiving duties. Luckily, our respite care services are available to help caregivers carve out time to run errands and handle unexpected situations.
Energy medicine is a type of complementary, hands-on-healing where the practitioner utilized energy flow to create and support healing. The goal or intention of Healing Touch is to restore harmony and balance in the energy system. The benefits can reduce pain, anxiety, stress, support during chemotherapy and surgery and can ease the dying process.
Even as a child seeing death up close, it has always been something I have been curious about. Now as an adult, I still ponder the unknown aspects of death and welcome the stories and experiences of those who are at the end of life.
We all come into the world, live our lives and then depart when the time comes. I envision the end of life to be as rich and beautiful as coming into it. My part is to support and guide through the process of dying, be present for the client, loved ones, and help the precious moments left as peaceful as possible.
This is not just a job, it's an opportunity to provide one of the most important services in life. With respect, compassion, authenticity and presence I provide support services at end of life so that people can look forward to a peaceful death on their own terms and personal wishes fulfilled.
We will help providing non medical assistance like making sure the client is comfortable, listening, being there for family and friends to answer questions. We also care about emotional support too, by providing guidance through difficult times and making sure spiritual wishes come true before its time to rest forever.
WORDS FROM MY CLIENTS
"It's been wonderful working with Stacee. She's help me prepare for my final days and brings meaning to my life"
"We can't say enough about Peaceful Passage and what Stacee has done for my mom and our family. She's really been a rock for all of us."
LETS GET IN TOUCH.